God gave me you

Seven years ago today was when we found out that we were having triplets during the first ultrasound to see if there was a heartbeat. It was an amazing news to us, and we kept it a secret to surprise all of their grandparents. Little I knew what was going to happen in the following months, and the journey that we have to go through in life.

All Together

(Those we have held in our arms for a little while,
we hold in our hearts forever)

Finally I got the time to do the picture I wanted to do for a long time. I hope it shows how much I love all my children here and above.

Grieving a child loss is a journey that begins the day the children passes, and ends the day the parent joins them. From time to time God has placed other bereaved parents in my path, which have allow me to listen to their story and share mine, and give them hope in the middle of their unexpected storm; because I know how it feels. Some of them have held their pain too deep, for too long, or have been afraid to share it openly, because very few really understand it, many outsiders have never been in our "shoes". Soon you will find that sometimes people cry not because they are weak, but because they've been strong for too long.

What are grandchildren?

What are grandchildren? Extra children? Nope, grandchildren are like the new copies of your own children, they stretch the life of your children to the limits that love delights to reach. Children are the blessing, but grandchildren are the confirmation of the blessing, that's why they are so deeply loved by their grandparents.

Grandkids are the best joy for the aging, they are hope turned into reality. They receive the kisses that the children didn't get the chance to catch. They share the kisses that nobody else can give. When holding a grandchild it is like you are holding your child too. You get to hold the youth that slithers away each passing day. And you get to hold the true love that expects nothing but renders everything.

2015 Children Memorial Service

(This is an excerpt of what I shared during this year's Children Memorial Service. The audience were all the parents or family members of children at the same cemetery where my triplets rest.)

When you're experiencing the most terrible circumstances, and you hear that God is so big, the reality doesn't feel like that at all. The depth of the loss, and grief is so overwhelming that we can't see or sense the greatness of Him. Then all sudden I heard whispers from a song I heard days ago telling me "Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can't heal..."

On Your Sixth Birthday

When there are no words.

Six years have passed. Some days it feels like a long time ago but today it feels like it just happened and I reminisce again in those few days. I remember with clear and deep intensity those few hours I held you, my babies in my arms. You were still alive, while I silently cried your departure, constantly wiping the tears down on my face I cried to God for a miracle, I pleaded to be able to raise you and be your daddy.

Thankful Christmas Time

(This years Santa's little helpers)

Always pray and never give up

What would it have been if we would have quit on our first failure years ago trying to become parents. I cannot imagine how that reality might look right now. I have no clue, but I'm so glad that we didn't stop pursuing our dream. Because the life that we now have is deeply blessed. And yes, it was a journey we traveled with sorrows, pains and setbacks, but we refused to give up on God.

Stolen moments

(My two little 5-month old pumpkins)

Happy Fall everyone! This is a picture of my two cute miracle pumpkins gives us so much joy. I recently read a story of a grieving father and his precious daughter. And the two words "stolen moments" caught my total attention. I really like that description, because I too feel cheated in life of so many stolen moments I will never get to experience with my triplets. And so when I look at my twin little ones, I'm still in awe of all the many times their lives were at risk, and be able to overcome them. So I treasure them, while I yearn for my babies in Heaven.

Over a year ago I remember when we went for the ultrasound and we discover their heartbeats for the first time: "It's twins!" the nurse celebrated... Honestly I was scared to death of loosing them because of multiple-pregnancy and its complications; or the traumatic experience and loss of our triplets.

2014 Children Memorial Service

(This is the outline I read during this year's Children Memorial Service. The audience were all the parents or family members of children at the same cemetery where my triplets rest.)

I’m Luis the father of Alexa, Jayden and Lilia,

It is dear to my heart to come to this peaceful place because my babies lay here, and it was the last place I held all of them together in my arms on this earth. This beautiful place is still full of love, tears and broken dreams but it is not what God originally intended to be when He created everything.

A few days ago, I had this moment of complete joy that gave me a taste of what is waiting for me in Heaven. A beautiful picture I want to share today.

Our miracle twin babies

(My two little giraffes. 7 days old)

This picture was taken when my babies were only one week old. So much joy they have given us already in these few days.

During Jess long stay at the hospital I’ve come across with so many amazing stories of other parents sharing their joyful story of their miracle babies. Some giving us reassurance, others asking for support and a word of encouragement. I listened to their fears and worries. And more important, I prayed for them daily. Some babies did make it to the gestational age that they could go to the NICU and survived. But sadly others parents experienced the same loss that we did with our triplets, and my heart broke for them every time I heard about them.

Hence, going through this experience showed me (once more) how complex and fragile new life can be. On this post I want to summarize all the medical challenges that my two miracle boys overcame to finally be in our arms. This should help many others when they go through similar situations, to give them hope and faith that He can do miracles for them too.

Jaden and Jackson are born

For this two little miracles so many have prayed

(Holding my twin boys for the first time)

Years ago, when I embraced my son for the first time, I held him at the hospital room for a long time, and engraved in my heart every single minute of it. At that moment, I was thinking: "this will be my only miracle child that I will be able to have in this life on Earth... So, I better enjoy this moment to the fullest."

I had no idea that a double blessing was down the road going to be in our arms, and be able to enjoy having to take care, love and raise another child.

I'm still overjoyed to see, hold, embrace and feel that my two little boys finally have made it. It was not an easy journey. At times we thought they would never make it. But we refused to give up, and continued trusting that God will hear our prayers.

This coming week they will be finally be here

Very soon this room is going to be full of joy:

Sometimes Miracles Come in Pairs

(Wall decal in their nursery)

As the pregnancy weekly progress is now climbing into the mid-30s. We now have the peace to know that the twins have overcome some of the most critical moments and the fears we had months ago are almost all gone. We are exceedingly grateful to God for protecting our babies from the antibody, from surviving the early ovarian cyst removal surgery, the cervical cerclage surgery that saved their lives, passing the glucose test, the lengthy bed rest that their mommy had to endure since 19-weeks, the helpers, the meals, and most important all the prayers that have given us the encouragement to face all the odds.

On Your Fifth Birthday

Three names that mean the whole world to me: Alexa, Jayden and Lilia.

As your fifth birthday has arrived, I've written these lines to share how much your daddy loves you, and deeply misses you. During these moments God perhaps has already shared with you, or given you a glimpse of the joyful happenings of your mommy, daddy and younger brother Jace down here on earth.

Reading to them

As the fifth anniversary approaches, no matter what we try to do, the days become emotionally charged, and any little unexpected events can catch you off-guard so quickly. Last Sunday, something really special happened.

As a parent I want to protect my child from any hurt, including emotional "ouchies". So, I don't know how, or when I will be able to explain to my boy about the story of his three siblings up in heaven. I don't want him to experience the deep sorrow that his mommy and I feel when these days come each year. But I also can see that as he grows older he is starting to understand things better. Even as a 3-year toddler, he is surprises me of his awareness of life around him. I pray I have the wisdom and the right words for him, when the times comes. And be able to give him the comforts and peace that God has given me too.

We are in good hands

Baby-B 3D scan at 25 weeks

Yesterday, we went for the ultrasound check on the anti-body status, baby growth and the cervix length. And prayers are being answered with the anti-body situation, because there is no indication that it has affected my two boys at all. However the cervix measurement showed that it is now too short, and required my wife to be hospitalized.