Christmas Ball Ornament from El Salvador. |
As we were approaching the display table I was praying that God will lead us to choose a kid we can somehow bless. At the table there were only 4 kids left and available to be sponsored right away. My wife took a look and quickly selected one, telling me "in memory of our triplets we should sponsor this little girl". I agreed.
Days later when we got the first welcome package, my wife opened and then she started crying. I wondered why was she sad? Or what made her cry? I came to her and she handed to me her information package, as I was reading the top information about our "new child" I learned that ... she was born exactly on the same day, same month and same year our triplets went to Heaven.
It was only one minute that Alexa lived in my arms, and her mommy got to embrace her beautiful tiny body while our first daughter was leaving this life. The following few hours I held her lifeless body in my arms, treasuring those moments and holding her tiny and fragile fingers. Then it was time when the nurse came to finally take her precious body away. As the nurse walked out the hospital room door I wanted to run, to hug and kiss my little girl one more time. But I didn't.
For 8 years in my dreams I had this silent prayer "Dear God, can I see or hug my daughters Alexa and Lilia, for at least one more time?". And I have quietly left that prayer at His throne, knowing the reality that my daughters are in Heaven and I'm on earth. There was no way this prayer would get an answer.
Last year, I decided to join a mission trip organized by this international children charity, that was going to the country and the project were our sponsored kid was located. With the chance that I might be lucky enough and be able to meet in person our little girl. As we prepared and got all the pre-trip training classes to go there, my excitement kept getting bigger and bigger. I wrote a couple letters telling her that I was going there with the other missioners, but I didn't want to make it too certain, because I wasn't sure if we would be able to meet her at all, and I didn't want her to be disappointed either.
First time we meet. |
We all had a blast!
Fun day at a water park. |
And then the last day came, the sad day to say goodbye. My new daughter was crying non-stop. She didn't want to let me go.
This moment got engraved in my heart... There it was, this prayer I've silently shared with God for a long time, this prayer I never expected to get an answer, a prayer from a grieving daddy, a prayer from a heart that aches to know about his children, a prayer with an impossible request, a prayer that wants to give love and expects nothing in return,
Until this moment happened: the Sunday service was over, and we had few minutes to gather our stuff and say our last goodbye to the volunteers, to the families, ... and to our kids. So, it was there, my girl jumped on my lap, she was crying again, I tried my best to give her comforts, and give her the assurance that I will always be there for her, and we hug one last time. I closed my eyes, to take a breath and treasure this last moment, while hugging her and with the noise of her cries finally going away, I sensed God whispering: "Luis, do you remember your silent prayer, ... your eight year old prayer? Here it is. this is like your little girls giving you a huge hug. Can you sense them?"
~♥~
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