Sunday, December 21, 2008

Triple Miracle

Ultrasound of the triplets

"Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men"
(John 1:3-4)

After the first try at IVF we knew that we had left 20 frozen fertilized eggs. So, the doctors explained to us that we had very good chances to be able to have more chances to try to get pregnant, and finally have a baby. During this time we learned about many other stories from other couples that were also struggling with infertility. And we realized that statistically for IVF patients usually 25% of the people that try the first time may experience a miscarriage. And we now are part of that group of parents.

So, we tried again in mid-November, for the second time.

I used to think that, between Jessica and myself, I was stronger in my Christian faith. But after losing a child, deep inside of me I was mad at God; my prayer time was almost non-existent. It was very inspiring to me every day when I arrived to the house, to hear loud christian worship music throughout the house. I realized that my wife was reaching for God during the times that I was retracting from Him. She kept singing for him while alone in the house. She told me one day: "I hope that my faith is at least the size of a mustard seed".

I was moved, and realized that God was using these circumstances to get her closer to Him, and rescuing me back to Him. I thought to myself, if this time works is because of my wife faith, and renewed trust in God. I used to tell God that I wish I would have the chance to have the baby back with us for a short time. But then I realized that I was very selfish, because this child is right now in the presence of the Creator of all; this baby is being take care of, better that I could ever do.

I know that when the day of my death arrives, that I will go to heaven, because of what Jesus did on the cross. And as I will approach the gates of heaven, I will see a little baby opening his/her arms to welcome me, and call me daddy. And this gives me peace and closure to know that God always wants the best for all of us.

So, on November 19th, we were at the clinic for a second time. We told the doctor that we could only afford one more try. And after having 2 miscarriages and that the last time only one implanted, and stopped growing. We wanted to transfer more than two embryos. This should increase our chances that at least one of them will make it. The doctor explained that he would not advise it, because multiple pregnancies are very medically complicated. And there are high risks with the babies of being premature, or even having other medical problems. We asked the doctor of the probability that all 3 will take, and he answered that it would be around 15%. So, it seemed like a low probability to me.

But Jessica had prayed over this and she felt the peace to try at least three embryos. The embryologist came and gave us the report: they thaw 8 embryos; out of those 2 did not survive nor grow, and were discarded, 3 of them have achieved the early "blast" state, and the remaining 3 were at the full blast state. And those 3 were classified as AAA embryos. The embryologist told us "very good embryos" in a very excited voice.

So, we insisted and convinced the fertility doctor, and he reluctantly agreed. The embryos #1, #3, and #7 were transferred into Jessica's womb. Right before the procedure, and in the presence of the doctor and the nurses, I heard Jessica praying: "God if this is your will: let these babies to be formed, if this is not your will I will be OK with your decision. But let this be your will".

Then we have to wait for 2 weeks to see if the pregnancy test would come positive. If it comes positive, then wait another 4 weeks to have the first ultrasound to find out how many made it.

Seven days later, she got her implantation bleeding. Although we knew about it, it was a little bit scary to see the bleeding. We went for the thanksgiving family gathering. Sadly, in that weekend our cute little Kylin lost one of her eyes in a dogfight. We were "up-north" in the middle of nowhere on Friday night. I called 911 and the dispatcher  found a local vet. I drove 25 minutes in the middle of a snowstorm to get her to this vet. I left Jessica behind because she was very upset, and I didn't want this to affect the pregnancy.

This vet was very nice and helpful. Our little daughter looked like a monster, because the left eye was bulging out of the socket, and it was getting bigger and fuller of blood. My heart was so broken to see my tiny puppy in so much agonizing pains. The doctor tried to push the eye back into place but it was too late. They scheduled a surgery the following day to remove the eye. I had to leave Kylin alone in an intensive care unit. I found myself so sad to see her like this.

The next day I went alone to watch the surgery on my little faithful doggie; I stood behind a glass wall. After they finished, the nurses took her to the recovery room, and finally allowed me to hold her while she was waking up from the anesthesia. I use to think about dogs as something that you should not worry that much. I would say: "hey, is just a dog!” But in those moments I realized how much this tiny dog has gotten my affection and love. Kylin was screaming and crying in the nurse's arms. But as soon as they placed her in my arms, and she heard my voice, she started sobbing, and she got very close to my chest looking for protection and a safe place to be. I started crying like never before. And kept telling her that everything was going to be okay, and that daddy will not leave her alone. The following 2 weeks I had to give her medications for pain, antibiotics and anti-inflammation. I felt like a doctor, giving injections and pills to my wife, and also medications to Kylin!

Finally, on December 3rd, we got the lab results. YES! We are pregnant. The news was great to hear after all the stress that we went the days before it. But we were also cautious, because of the miscarriage experience we had before. We decided to keep the news to ourselves until we get to the next step: the ultrasound to find if there is a heart beat.

Since we were planning to travel to Oklahoma for the Christmas vacation, the doctor decided to take the ultrasound a day before the trip. On December 17th we were at the lobby of the clinic, once again hoping to see at least one hear beat. When we finally got usher to the ultrasound room, and they placed the machine in her. They zoom in; and there it was, a tiny "shrimp" and the heartbeat was so beautiful and fast, I said "thank you Lord". But then the nurse moved the machine to the left. And another baby, and then moved again, and another baby. TRIPLETS!!! Oh my God, all three embryos did make it! We were so shocked and happy that I don't remember anything for the rest of that day.

However, the nurse got out of the room to find the doctor. They were very worried. When he came, he said: "I told you, it could happen". And the doctor asked the question to us: if we would do "selective-reduction". Meaning to kill and remove one or two embryos out of the womb. We immediately said, "if God decided that all 3 would grow, we would not interfere with his plan. We will trust in his plan. I mean you see 3 tiny heart beats. I cannot decide which one to take down. I would never do that". They are alive, and be all the praises to God. I know about the family in Illinois whom have six babies at once. And they made it. So, I figure we can handle 3 at once. I mean: look at "octo-mom"

When we got out of the clinic, Jess' mom was anxiously waiting to know the result. We call and told her that everything was fine. But we didn't tell her how many. So, the next day after a 16-hour drive, we got to Oklahoma. Jessica had made a T-shirt that reads: "Triplets on board" and covered it with her coat. When we got there, we asked them to guess how many. Marjean said two babies, and Tim said four babies. At that point Jessica opened the coat, and they got the amazing news!

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint!" 
(Isaiah 40:31)

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