Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year 2011

Dear God,

Luis walking down the road
and pushing the stroller with Jace in it
2010 was a beautiful year, I feel hope, peace, and refuge in your hands, and this is such a wonderful feeling. What comes to my head is that you were there when I needed you the most. During the highest and the lowest times you were there. I felt your presence when the doctors delivered into our arms my beautiful son and I heard his cry for the first time; and you were there when my mother left us, and arrived into your arms.

I still remember from 2009, during the days that came after losing my triplets. That I told myself: “God created me, so He knows about the anger that I was about to unleash for letting my children die hopelessly in my arms”. And I did, I was in grief, deeply hurt and angry for a while. Until I realized that while I was in the middle of my anger, you were holding my children on your lap. And giving them love beyond all imagination, a love so great that no eye has seen, what no ear has heard.

Thank you for loving them, and giving me those moments that I’ve been able to talk to them from Heaven. The descriptions they have tried to tell about the place where you dwell are so beautiful. Thank you for the miracle of life in Jace Miguel. Every time I’m feeding him and I hold him very close, I see his beautiful brown eyes looking into mine. I pray he can see you God in my eyes as much as I see you in his eyes. Give me the wisdom, and patience that I will probably need as he grows, and the years pass.

I tend to forget about baby August, because I never got to hold or see his or her face. I know that for you, no one is insignificant in your eyes. So, I’m looking forward the day I get to meet this child for the first time in Heaven.

After the experience of many losses, and then experiencing your redeeming love and comforts, I realized that you indeed will turn mourning into dancing. Perhaps, that is the reason why I feel at peace with the departure of my mother. I was created by your love, made to love you, grow feeling your love, made to find you, adore you, you were there before me, you were there waiting for me, you never forsake me, you kept me. I was made to love you and be loved by you... Thank you for the mother you gave me to love, she was a great mom.

As life continues, I know you will always be there on the seasons to come.

Happy 2011 New Year!


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