Sunday, January 20, 2013

Some legacy blessings

Few days ago a grieving parent, Mary Beth Chapman, shared that we will never have the answers; and that we would never be able to understand everything, but this would not prevent us in helping others. Now that I look back I can see some glimpses of the blessings my heavenly children have allowed me to experience or do in their memory.

Let me share some of them.

In 2009, two weeks after we buried our triplets; I was doing grocery shopping, while Jess, was still recovering back home. During my shopping, I was trying to read down the list to find the items I needed to buy. Then, I turn into the next aisle, and in front of me there is this lady with her two kids. Her boy (around 2 years old) was sitting on the basket crying for something he wanted, and at the same time her daughter (much older, perhaps 5 years old or so) was being a little bit difficult too; throwing a tantrum fit on the floor next to her mom. I can see their mom’s patience was really depleted, and she was so upset, that in the middle of her frustration she was a little bit hard on them. Some ugly words came out too. She seemed so desperate, I can sense she struggled wanting to leave the store, but at the same time she needing to finish her shopping too.

Then inside of me I felt this urge to help her somehow. So, I politely approached her and said “You have no idea how blessed you are”. Her intrigued face laid open the need for me to explain myself better. And so, I said “I would love to have my little ones in my arms right now, no matter how difficult sometimes it could be. But instead I only get to see them when I go to visit them at their grave, once a week. I'm sorry to bother you, but I just buried my triplets two weeks ago…” And then I walked away with teary eyes.

As I turned into the next aisle, I can see out the corner of my eye, that this mother picked up her daughter off the floor, and gave her a beautiful hug. And this thought crossed my mind "thank you God that you allowed me to use my loss to help someone else".

It was the beginning of my healing journey.

Another blessing has been to minister to other parents, that we have meet on our journey after my little ones went to Heaven. On the first year’s children memorial service that we were invited to, I decided to get up and speak to others about our grief journey. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but after the service was over, few men approached me with thankfulness, and a lady approached us expressing her deep gratitude for the words we shared.

Her name is Nancy, and she shared with us that for almost 40 years, she has been quietly grieving her son Tommy, and was afraid to talk to others about her loss. That day she was inspired about our spoken words.

Nowadays we consider her a dear friend that God has blessed us to have in our journey too. And I'm happy to write that last year, I was deeply moved to see her get up for the first time, and walk to the microphone to talk about Tommy, her mother's love and how much she missed him too.

More recently also meet Heidi and Robert. They too had to endure a child loss. And I’m inspired that they too decided to lean on God, and allow Him to work in their lives, and help others that go trough this journey. If it weren't for our loss, we would have never met them either.

As so, many other short experiences have allowed me the beautiful legacy of all these children. I know that God doesn't produce bad or evil. All He creates is good. “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17)

I know without a doubt that God can make good out bad situations. Because “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28a)

So, I feel blessed to see that in the middle of our journey we could help others too. And without a doubt I know that any of you can do the same too.

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