Unstuck

Last night we went to the first session of a church series named "unstuck". Towards the end of the meeting; the speaker said to all of us to take a moment of silence, and allow ourselves to experience a little bit of God's presence.

I thought; sure, I usually prefer to do this when I'm alone reading His word; or when listening to awesome worship music by myself. But I decided to give it a shot anyway. So, while everyone had their eyes closed; the speaker was instructing: “Imagine yourself far away... You are in the most beautiful beach you've ever imagined. Now, you can feel your toes in the soft sand, and you glaze at the pure crystal waters. As you walk down the seashore all sudden you can feel this beautiful and warm sunlight on your face.”

2013 Children Memorial Service

(This is the outline I read during this year's Children Memorial Service. The audience were all the parents or family members of the children laid to rest in the same cemetery where my triplets are.)

It is very meaningful and emotional to get up here in front of all of you, and be able to share my thoughts four years after I said "goodbye" to my triplets. I know that this tragedy shook me far more than I ever realized or have confessed. 

Especially during those early weeks, questioning God is something I am not proud of; but I did. I did not understand why it happened; I was in total despair and without hope. Particularly after all the prayers that did not get answered the way I wanted it.