|(Visiting their grave few days after their goodbye, 7 years ago)|
In the middle of my prayers, all sudden it took me back to that night when I held my last triplet during his last moments of his life, being held by his daddy. And just hits you like a ton of bricks. Like all at once life has crashed right out in front of your eyes all over again. And then I remember those many days when I would go to their grave and visit their resting place for hours; and touch the ground still fresh. Memories of love and peace beyond all understanding.
I know God has a plan. But sometimes the pain we have endured and the ache to see my babies is too big to prevent tears from flowing again. They will always be my babies. I love them all, I miss them, and in this moment I miss them a lot. It just isn't easy, which we never were promised it would, we were just promised it would be worth it.