Thursday, December 20, 2007

Our spoiled rotten Yorkie girl


"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."
(Psalms 1:1-3)

Right after the wedding, Jess and I wanted to have children. So we started working on it from day one. Kylin was a wedding gift from Jess'parents, and became like our first daughter. This dog has gotten my affection more that what I've imagined. We had no idea what we were going to live trough the next couple years. I work full time, and Jess stays home (at her request), because she likes to work around the house. And she wanted to spoil me with meals everyday. This little Yorkie has given company and lots of love to my lovely wife. The first year we tried to get pregnant went by without any success. Then, we went to the doctor and discovered that Jessica has Poly-cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which meant that she produces too many tiny follicles, but not enough hormones for none of them to take the lead, therefore the ovulation never takes place.

So, we started the basic fertility treatment with pills only. Then we were upgraded to Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) added into the treatment. After almost 2 years of many tries with treatment (lots of daily injections, blood tests, and ultrasounds) we finally got pregnant on December 2007. But this pregnancy only lasted few days. Jessica was very depressed, and frustrated.

I wanted her to know that my love for her is not dependent is she can conceive a baby. She is the love of my life and nothing can change that. After few weeks, we started thinking about adoption. She was very excited. Perhaps we can give our love to a child somewhere who doesn't have any parents.

We went to few Christian adoption agencies, and gather all the information we could get. Only to find out that we will have to wait to be at least 3 years married in order to meet one of the many requirements to be considered as candidates for adoption. This was another blow of the dreams to be parents. I was a little bit sad and frustrated with God, because it seems that all the doors were being closed right in our faces.

At this time of the year, I had to change medical insurance, and we had to select a new doctor. After choosing a doctor from the list of authorized providers we later found that "by-coincidence" we got one of the best fertility doctors of the state and perhaps the entire country. He is a well-known doctor in this field. We knew that if we wanted to continue trying to have our own children, the only remaining option was IVF (In-vitro fertilization). And it is very costly, and not covered by any health insurance in our state. In my faith, I can sense that one day we will be parents, because the handiness of loving children by Jessica (when she was younger she work in day-care feeding and caring of many babies) is so good and strong; and my deep desire to be a father (I volunteer-work at my local church, dealing with over 500 teenagers, and I have a blast with them); that I concluded that God would never placed that ability in Jess and myself, if we weren’t meant to be parents.

Few days before the doctor appointment Jessica and I decided to pray constantly for guidance. We had two choices: invest our money on IVF treatment or on the adoption process. Either way it was going to be very expensive. We prayed to God that He would make clear the path that He wanted us to follow. If we were not going to succeed with fertility treatment, then we wanted that God would close all the doors. And if adoption were the way, then that the doors would become wide open.

Soon after that, the Guatemala adoptions were suspended. We also found that we will have to meet the 3-year requirement, and when we get there, then the age requirement might prevent us to adopt an infant because you must be younger than 38. On top of that, the company were I worked stopped the adoption assistance program, so we could not get financial help either. Jessica was getting very frustrated and sad to see the dreams of motherhood slipping away.

But our little Kylin was always there, to give us comforts. Specially to Jessica. This two-pound doggie, has been God's hands and company during these difficult times.

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