Thursday, March 11, 2010

Your First Birthday

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes...

My Dearest Babies,

As I write these lines, a year ago you were still living with us. Now I'm getting ready to celebrate your birthday, I wish you were here and not in Heaven. Your first year of life has been full of so many emotions and feelings of all kinds. There were some nights of endless crying; some other nights were I couldn't or didn't want to pray. But many other nights full of joy, contentment and peace. A peace we felt beyond all understanding.

God danced the day you were born. It was too soon for each one of you to be born. We didn't want to lose you. On that day your eyes were still closed and I never got to see the color of your eyes. But now I realize that the moment you opened your eyes for the first time in your life, the first thing you got to see was the face of Jesus.

I learned that death does not steal your loved ones. On the contrary, it saves them eternally in your hearts and memories. Forever you'll remain in me as my children and I'll forever remain as your dad. No matter the distance or the time, nothing can separate us, just as nothing can separate us from the love of God who is taking care of you now. And you are in the best playground of the entire universe.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted". (Matthew 5:4)

When I had no tears to cry, you were there; when I found no words to say, you were there. I know that heaven is your home; there is no pain, no fear. It is a place where God wipes away every tear. Tears seem to flow and never stop. Dear God, help parents like us who need to weep, help us know what we must keep, so we on earth can know what we're looking for, in eternity.

My babies, we saved your baby hats, your ultrasound pictures, your little footprints, and the special blankets we wrapped you in, to keep you warm.
    Dad, you tucked us in, those few hours. And we were wrapped in you too.
The blankets have their own place now.
    We all have things, and some have more meaning than others.
Few cry when I mention about the blanket or your first toys: the pink, blue and yellow chicks.
   They too have saved something they could not use, or give us
I want to put the quilt on you
   Do it. Only you and us have to know.
Will you feel it?
   You and Mom taught us to feel.
How did you learn to feel?
   We learned our feelings inside mom's womb, inside your arms when you were holding us.
It's your birthday, and I celebrate you as my babies!
   Yes it is, and you are our dearest dad.
I'm sad thinking how much I miss you, and at the same time joyful, living the miracle of your little brother, whom is going to be born any moment, in the weeks to come.
   We will be dancing with God the day that our little brother Jace is born.
Thank you, I love you kids.
   We love you too.

If you feel that everything has lost its meaning, you always will find one "I love you" from a person with whom you can always think aloud. I'm blessed to have Jessica as your mother and my wife. We both hurt deeply on your birthday, but we celebrate your existence in Heaven.

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place by God's grace
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

♥ Alexa, Jayden and Lilia, Wishing you the best Happy First Birthday! ♥

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away".
(Rev 21:4)

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