Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Heavenly Snow

Thoughts from the funeral day

The weather forecast for that day was 50-degree weather. I was glad that the temperature would not be too cold for my family to come with us to bury our little babies' temporary bodies, because I know they have new ones in heaven.

Last Saturday is a day I'll keep close to my heart. During the service, right after I finished giving my tribute to them, I went and sat down next to Jessica, holding her close to me. Then my sister leaned to me and whispered: "the babies are talking back to you now" and with teary eyes she pointed out the windows of the church... It was like tiny angel feathers, slowly falling out of the sky.

It was snowing, in 50 degree weather!

This snowing was gentle and slow. Looking from the distance, as soon as the snow flakes would touch the ground they would disappear. Nothing appeared to be left on the ground from this snow. As I got closer to the ground. I discovered that the tiny flares of snow, were becoming little drops of water, as small as the size of a baby tear. From now on, I can differentiate when my babies are thinking about me.

When the ceremony was over, my friend Nick waited for everyone to leave and then approached us. He shared a vision he experienced while I was speaking. He did see his wife Tammie dancing around me in the sanctuary, and behind her he could vision three little kids running too. They all were very happy, they all were dancing, they all were rejoicing. They were feeling how thick love was in the air, for each one of them. In that moment, in that place, we felt the overwhelming love of God. Nick's wife had passed away few days before my babies did.

The funeral director also later told us, that after so many funerals he has directed, that he was deeply moved for everything that was spoken on this day, and how much care we have given to our little ones. He had never cried so much like on that day... He shared that he has a child with special needs, and that now after seeing our loss, he would never trade his experience, and love his child like never before.

As soon as Jessica and I got into the vehicle to go to their final resting place, the snow flurries vanished and a bright sun light took its place. And for the rest of the day God gave us a sunny day.

So, we went to say our goodbyes, and now I know that God loves me 3 times more in heaven.

I love you kids, I always will.

To the child I'll never know
(by Gloria Dianne)

How can I say good bye
when I never said hello,
Why does my heart grieve
for the one I'll never know?

You were a part of me
for just a little while.
I grieve because I'll never see
the magic in your smile.

I grieve for all the unsaid words
that you will never say.
I grieve that I will never see
you happily at play.

I grieve for all the lullabies
that will remain unsung.
I grieve because I'll never see
your face gleaming like the sun.

I grieve because you will never know
the comfort of my touch.
I grieve because you will never know
that you were loved so much.

I grieve for all the tomorrows
that will never be.
I grieve because God chose
to take you back from me.

You live among the angels now
Your earthly mission done,
You will be so dearly missed
Good-bye my little one.

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